


Gallery of The Loved Ones

by Sailingfreely



Category: GOT7
Genre: Actually it's all mostly fluff, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, So yeah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 01:37:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13602855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sailingfreely/pseuds/Sailingfreely
Summary: Compilation of JackBum short stories, oneshots and drabbles ♥





	1. Lil JackBum Try Engine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> actually I wrote quite a lot of JackBum oneshot or drabbles on my tumblr. Then I thought, why not post it here as a compilation too? So here it is! ^^

“Holy shit…” he muttered under his breath much in shock and feeling lost when he see his car ‘bleeding’ profusely.

He hadn’t realize the indicator of his car goes to hot while he was waiting for the traffic light to turn green. All of a sudden he heard a loud noise and smoke rolling up causing him to shriek in a very unmanly way. Not that he would admit it.

Jackson stunned for a minute in surprise, not really getting the situation yet before the cars behind start honking impatiently. Then he finally saw the indicator and just start swearing all the words he knows all the while forcing the car to run to the side road, heart leaping miles and miles away hoping for the car not to blow up with him inside.

When the car is safe by the side of the road and that means his ass is also intact, he immediately turned off the engine and rushed out to open the hood, grimacing when more smoke spewing out and the air immediately thick with heat. Jackson may not understand much about car but he figures it’s the radiator which is being problematic right now, and unless he wants to die he shouldn’t open it right now and wait for it to cool down first.

With the car hood open and smoke ceasing, the hot air still linger persistently, so Jackson took off his shirt because the heat is getting a bit too much, he still wearing a black tank top anyway. He look around, searching for any sign of toilet or something that can give him access to water. But then before he could really search for water, another oasis came anyway.

“Have a problem?” The guy was riding a big motorbike, wearing a black leather jacket and equally black ripped jeans tight enough Jackson could see the right amount of muscles under it. That was the first impression. But the second impression literally almost caused Jackson to choke on his own saliva was when the man took off his helmet and those dark piercing eyes, sharp features and nice styled raven hair came to view. And this only happens in a few seconds, but Jackson managed to took it all in. He blamed the panic that caused by his old car for that.

“Your car broke?” The man asked again already climbed off the motorbike and walking closer to where Jackson standing.

“Huh?” Jackson squeaked dumbly before he slapped himself and regain his dignity. “Yeah, um… I think it’s the radiator,” he’s gesturing to the car and flailing his hand in nervousness. ‘Nervous? Wang Jackson, you don’t do nervous,’ he scolded himself.

Thankfully the man’s reaction to it was only a jerk of an eyebrow, but that is enough for Jackson to wonder if he’s sweating due to the hot air or something else entirely. “Then we need water,” the hot man in leather jacket said effectively.

Wait. Did Jackson just said the man is hot?

“Yeah, I was going to search for it but… I don’t know this area very well.”

“There’s a small shop just a bit there, probably I can get some water,” the man said pointing to the said direction then turned to face Jackson. “You wait here I’ll get the water,” and before Jackson could retort he’s already trotting away.

“Wha- Hey!” Jackson yells but the man didn’t even turn back. “Goddamn that ass and thighs, makes me wonder if he have a good package in the front too. He can rob me if I can have a taste of that,” he clicked his tongue and shaking his head, “but what can he steal from a man with a broken old car? Damn, don’t tell me he really have the heart of gold too on top of that glorious body and face.”

Then he inspect the motorbike, it’s definitely expensive, he can rule out the guy trying to rob him. Jackson hummed while rubbing his chin, “what if he saw how hot I am and want to kidnap me?”

Before he could create another more insane scenario though, the man had come back with a bucket of water in hand. “I hope this much water is enough, I’ll go back for more if not. The lady was kind enough to let me borrow a bucket.”

“Well, anyone would be kind enough to lend you anything,” Jackson mumbled lowly didn’t mean for it to be heard, but the confused and amused smile on the man lips indicate the opposite. “I mean, you’re gorgeous…” Jackson, you used to flirt better than this! He primanded himself again.

“Gorgeous?” He snickers but let it slide still with a wide amused smile on his face. “You want to fix it yourself or should I?”

“I only need to check the water and cool down the engine right?”

“Well, seeing how it look and water spilling all over the road, I’d guess there’s a leak that’s why the engine overheat. Let’s just hope it’s not the pipe which is broke, that will be a whole lot more tricky and need immediate fix. It’s cool enough to open the radiator now,” he quickly open it and check for the water level, already predicted it’s empty. “I’m going to fill in the water, look down and see if the water still spill out.”

“Okay,” Jackson was fast to crouch and inspect from below. No, he was totally concentrating on the car not anywhere else. After testing it and looking for the leak, unfortunately the man found the crack at the worst possible place.

“If it’s like this you can’t drive home. It seems the car is pretty well used, isn’t it?”

Jackson snorted at the other pretty word of ‘old car’, “it’s originally my dad’s, but I can’t sell it and buy a nicer one. Kinda… The sentimental value?”

“Ah, yes I understand that very well,” he grinned while pointing in agreement at Jackson. “I also have a vintage motorbike which inherited from my grandfather. But as you said it, the sentimental value?” He chuckled lightly, “I can’t bring myself to ride it since it’s really precious.”

Something in Jackson’s eyes sparkling, “it’s interesting how people’s way of thinking can be so different on the same matter. I chose to use what’s important yet you chose to keep it.”

“It’s also interesting how people can differ from how they look,” the man smiled while titling his head. And it was pretty suggestive for Jackson. He only hopes the man really is flirting with him and not only his wishful thinking.

He cleared his throat and grinned to hide the creeping blush on his cheeks, “so…”

“So, actually I have a spare of the same kind with yours here. I can ask someone to bring it here, or do you have other idea?”

Jackson’s eyes almost bulged out from that, “what? No, I can’t ask you for that. Beside I have no money right now to pay you for it.”

“And what are you going to do then?”

“Well, I…” he scratching his nape sheepishly. “I’ll camp here then.” He laughed weakly. Beside, he can’t leave the car just like that, but he really got no money. At that time the prospect of friends really didn’t come to his mind. He got bewitched, that’s what happened.

The man laughed before pulling out his phone, “don’t worry, I don’t use it anymore since the car at home now have a different type, you can have it.”

“How can I ever repay you…” Jackson whimpers dramatically while rubbing his chest in excessive gratefulness.

The man smiled, those fucking smile which makes Jackson’s stomach fluttering in confusion whether it’s the butterfly or if he wants to vomit.

“You can tell me your name for starter,” he hold up his hand, “I’m Im Jaebum.”

Is that hand for a hand shake? So Jackson can touch him? Really? That skin? There is no electric shockwave like in the drama when he shake the big and slightly rough hand though. It’s a bit clammy but Jackson guessed it’s his heart which somersaulting in his chest.

“Wang Jackson,” he really should be proud of how normal he sounds at that moment, because this Im Jaebum guy seems to be the best at making the worst of Wang Jackson.

“Do you always have the heart of gold every time, Jaebum-shi?”

A twist of the kissable lips and a wink and Jackson knew he’s done.

“I don’t have a heart of gold. But anyone would be with how sexy you are, Jackson.”


	2. Daily Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took place when they're still at the old dorm and JackBum still share a room :)

He could heard the light steps of someone climbing down the bunk bed although sleep still hanging thickly in his head. He didn’t even open his eyes when the bed behind him dip a little and warmth seeping to his back. A content hum lets out from his throat when strong arms wrapping his waist and firm muscled chest pressing his back, smiling a bit when he felt a kiss touching the back of his earlobe.

“Don’t go back to sleep again if you’re awake already, Jackson,” he mumbled sleepily.

“The leader is still sleeping so…”

He chuckles as he reaching out his hand to the back and pinched the round butt, causing Jackson to yelp and they both giggling, “I’m awake brat, I’m just in the middle of gathering my soul.”

Jackson snorted and was about to reply when suddenly the door to their room opened and Jinyoung’s voice heard.

“Yah, wake up you lot. No touchy touchy in the morning,” the door fell shut and mood ruined. Trust Jinyoung for that.

“You heard him,” Jaebum said yet still not moving at all.

“You first,” if anything Jackson only snuggle closer to Jaebum’s back.

“Jackson…” he sighed.

“The older have to go first, hyung.”

Jaebum snorted at the way Jackson emphasized the hyung word, only at time like this he play the hyung-dongsaeng card.

“You brat,” and he gets up anyway, turning around to place a kiss on Jackson’s forehead before leaving the bed for good. But when he open the door and about to walk out, he feels a pull on his sweatpants. Turning around to see Jackson sitting on the bed with a massive pout, “what?”

“You forgot something,” Jackson said before quickly standing up and shuffle closer letting their breath mingle, “you haven’t kiss me a good morning yet if it isn’t on my lips.”

Jaebum couldn’t supress the urge to roll his eyes so he did anyway but didn’t deny Jackson either as he pecked the soft lips with smooching sounds, half mocking and half adoration.

There is a high squeals. Probably Yugyeom.

–

“Jackson, just eat it,” he sighed again while rubbing his forehead.

“You know me, hyung. If I eat something I have to finish it, but I can’t eat that.”

Jackson as been whining about the food the staff prepared being too spicy and Jaebum understand his unwillingness to eat it. But they are tight on time and need to move to another place, so he couldn’t possibly find other food for Jackson nor he can let the man not eating at all.

“Hyung, it’s not that spicy, you probably can eat it at least a little so your stomach not empty,” Bambam had said.

“Says you, but it’s spicy for me.”

Jaebum heaved a sigh again, “fine Jackson, you can eat my rice it will help lessen the spiciness.”

Jackson looked surprised at that, “but what about you?”

“I’ll eat the side dishes, it’s okay.”

“No, that’s not okay. It won’t be enough for you,” he frowned deeply.

“Maybe I can search for something later. What’s important now you have to eat, working on empty stomach is bad,” Jaebum patting Jackson’s head to soothe but it only let the frown dig deeper on the latter face.

“So do you,” he deadpanned.

“Jaebum hyung can share with me,” Jinyoung placates.

“And with me~,” Youngjae added before Mark chime in.

“I won’t give you my food.”

“Nobody ask you hyung,” Bambam mocked, clearly having a death wish as Jinyoung ganging up on him with Mark. Yugyeom squealing as a spectator.

But Jackson stay solemn and his face looked very troubled. Jaebum was about to pull rank just to make sure he eat something, but he lost a beat when Jackson suddenly said,

“I will eat it.”

It took a moment before they understand what Jackson is saying. “Are you sure?” Jaebum asked carefully.

“But… I probably can’t finish it all, so you have to finish it for me hyung.” This was probably one of Jackson’s traits which is curious and attractive. If he do something he have to finish it, if he eat something he have to finish it no matter what. Jaebum agreed in a heartbeat.

Even when he feels like his stomach about to explode when he have to finish Jackson’s food when the other couldn’t go on anymore. Or when the stylist noonas grumbling because Jackson just can’t stop crying.

At least his heart at ease to know Jackson isn’t working with an empty stomach and pushing his limits.

–

He woke up in the middle of the night, delirious and a bit disorientated. But then he settle down noticing the familiar and much welcomed warmth leaning on his chest, a thin smile gracing his lips as he feels Jackson’s chest going up and down on his own in rhythm as warm breath fanning his neck delicately.

But then he noticed what had woken him up. His arm which embracing Jackson had gone numb and more than that he wants to pee. Jaebum contemplating how to slide out from Jackson’s grip without waking the other up, but he figured Jackson would still roused awake if he move away since he’s quite sensitive. So against all rationality Jaebum chose to sleep it off rather than waking Jackson.

–

“Fuck-! It hurts!” He nearly screamed.

“What do you expect, who told you to hold in you pee anyway?” Jackson deadpanned while scratching his butt mockingly.

“Damn you!!”

Well, that’s love.


	3. The Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And I’m telling you, he really disappeared! Right in front of me!! I’m not lying!” He exasperated.

He’s very, very conflicted whether to scream and run or actually braving himself to find out what’s going on. Jackson had just came out from the hospital room after visiting his friend and was about to go back home when he heard something in the corner of the empty hallways. It was dark already outside and visiting hours has ended, he was the last visitor so it’s understandable that the hallways is as empty as it is now.

What he heard was a crying sounds, soft and eerie in that empty hallways. Jackson may have built muscles and a strong man, but he’s scared shitless about almost everything and that includes anything that remotely something out of a horror movie. He was alone, in the middle of hospital hallways and there’s a crying sound. If he was in the right mind he would already dash out from there or maybe fainted on the spot. But strangely even for himself, he inched closer to where the sound came from, noticing it seems like a little boy’s voice and his body hairs raising mysteriously as the sound getting louder and closer.

When he looked at the corner what he found was nothing like what he had expected and he breathed in relief. There is a little boy, real looking little boy sitting on the floor, crying pitifully. Although Jackson could feel his body hairs still rising, he found himself brave enough to ask, “are you okay?”

And the boy looked up, for a moment Jackson have to brace himself if the boy may look like demons or something, but the boy’s face was decent human being. His monolids eyes are big and glassy due to tears, cheeks bloated and eyebrows furrowed in what looked like a deep sorrow or fear. And Jackson’s heart ache at the sight of a pitiful boy, quickly crouching down to level himself with the little boy.

“Hey, are you okay? Why are you crying?” He called softly, thumbing at the fallen tears on the boy’s cheeks, noticing two parallel moles on the boy’s left eyelid.

“I’m scared… I don’t know where am I…” the boy hiccuped and keep sobbing softly.

“Ah are you lost? Where is your parents?”

The boy looked up again, staring at Jackson for a moment before he shakes his head and lowering his eyes again.

“You don’t know? How about I help you find them?” He offered with the best smile he could muster up.

The boy shakes his head again and his body gesture clearly being defensive. Jackson didn’t know what else to do, the boy didn’t want to do anything and even if he offered to bring him to the nurse station or the waiting room for at least sitting properly on the chair, the boy keep denying him.

So he relented, sliding down and sitting on the floor just like the boy did, thanking the fact that the hallways is strangely empty and no nurse would scold him for sitting there. He can’t just leave the boy there and seeing as the boy is stubbornly sitting there he might as well do the same. Not wanting to intrude more Jackson didn’t intiate any talk and just humming a song absentmindedly.

Then a few minutes later Jackson was surprised when the boy suddenly singing the song which he was humming to. Surprised for the boy to know that song because it’s quite old and surprised because the boy’s voice was beautiful.

“You know this song? This song is pretty old, assuming you’re about nine or ten years old, you shouldn’t been born yet,” he asked in amazement.

“I don’t know… But it sounds familiar for me and I just… Know the lyrics,” the boy mumbled out, still a bit hesitant but considerably less tense with Jackson.

“How about this?” Jackson start humming to another song and was a bit happy seeing a clueless expression on the little boy as if he had won. He keep doing that, humming to a certain song for the boy to figure out and let him sing to it. Gradually the boy was opening up to him, from smiling a little bit to Jackson actually hearing him laughing openly. And somehow Jackson feels happy and proud to be able to bring out such cheerfulness from the little boy.

“You are a weird person hyung,” the boy giggled, eyes now never leaving Jackson and just bright and full of emotions. “But you’re so kind.”

Jackson chuckled at the compliment and ruffling the boy’s hair out of adoration and feeling shy all of a sudden, “well, thanks. You’re okay now?”

The boy nodded with a big smile, “I feel calm now, I’m not afraid anymore.”

“That’s good. Now, should we search for your parents?”

“I don’t know what or why was it, but I felt so lonely and trapped before…” the boy said still with a smile although not as bright as before.

Jackson was confused, since somehow he had a feeling that the boy didn’t sound like a ‘little’ boy. His voice was clear and firm like an adult talking and the hair on Jackson’s body raising again eeriely.

“But now I feel like I can come back, thanks to you,” the boy continued, eyes glassy and swimming in serenity. “What is your name hyung?”

He blinked in confusion, “err… Jackson…?”

The boy grinned, “I’m Im Jaebum, remember me hyung.” Then slowly like a fading fog, the boy disappeared without a trace, leaving terrified Jackson almost neurotic from all the fright. Not to mention all the scolding he took from the nurses and security guards about his screaming bloody murders.

–

“And I’m telling you, he really disappeared! Right in front of me!! I’m not lying!” He exasperated.

“Yeah right,” his friend snorted in disbelief. “Maybe you should check your brain rather than your eyes.”

“No, no I’m serious. I’m not bullshitting, okay? He even told me his name! He said that his name is Im Jaebum! Now tell me where did I make up that name?” Jackson argues because he know what he saw.

“Wait, what? Im Jaebum?” There is a surprised look on his friend’s face.

“Yeah, what? You know that name?”

His friend’s face turned serious all of a sudden, making Jackson uneasy and wanted to just go home and never come back to that hospital again.

“Yesterday a boy about our age got moved to the room beside mine. The nurse said that he got into accident or something and fell into coma… And his name was Im Jaebum,” his face was calculating and tense. But Jackson felt like his heart had fallen out to the floor.

“Huh…?”

 

\--

 

“So it seems that boy have regain consciousness.”

Jackson frowned, “what boy?”

“Im Jaebum, the guy in the room beside mine, the one who was in coma? The one you saw the ghost in a little boy appearance?” His friend insinuated, eyebrows playing in mock.

“Oh God, and I was finally able to forget about it,” Jackson groaned.

“Why?”

“It’s scary, you think?! I won’t admit that I’ve seen a ghost, okay? I have to survive…”

“You did survived, you are here now talking to me about it. Beside, aren’t you curious? Maybe it’s just a coincidence that he had the same name as your… Hallucination?”

“Excuse you, I was sober as fuck that night, that couldn’t possibly be a hallucination,” Jackson argues heatedly.

“Well whatever, aren’t you curious though?”

That certainly unneeded to be said. Curious? Of course Jackson is curious, but how to go around it? Few days after what happened starting to make Jackson confused whether what he experienced really happening or was just a manifestation of his tired mind. It was a clear memory, but the near impossibility of the event makes him wonders the validity of it. Is the little boy he met that night really was the ghost of the guy named Im Jaebum? How did this guy even look like anyway? The only thing Jackson remember vividly about the little boy was the double moles on the left eyelid, it was unusual and unique.

–

He shouldn’t have, but curiosity took the better of him so he was pacing around the front door of the said guy, trying to take a peek. He supposed his curiosity is understandable after what he had experienced, yet he couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty for breaching other person’s privacy. Is this Im Jaebum guy really awake though? Jackson looked left and right, taking in the empty hallways before peeking in through the small glass at the door and shyly realizing he could only see the foot of the bed.

Well, there goes his curiosity. Nothing he could do about it and he’s creeping back into his friend’s room in silent and mild dejection.

Yet he did the same thing again the next day and the next, simply too stubborn and too curious to let the whole matter go. Until one day he realized way too late that the bed in the guy’s room was empty and he was greeted by someone who was standing quietly behind him. As if the guy was precisely waiting to ambush him.

“Hello,” the deep voice called from behind him and Jackson flinched way too obviously in shock before spinning around to see who was greeting him. “Can I help you?” the person was wearing a patient clothes and taller than him, but Jackson could still see the ghost of handsome face on the guy although he looked pale.

“Ah, no… I was just… Passing by?” Rather than a statement Jackson lamely said it in a question, too caught up by shock and embarrassed for being found out.

“Are you the one who keep walking around in front of my room?”

Jackson could feel how his face starting to heat up by the question, not knowing how to react and suddenly very self-conscious that he’s being rude. “I’m sorry, I was…” The words fell from his mouth when he noticed something which makes him surprised and scared at the same time. The moles, the double moles he saw on the little ghost boy is there on the same place of the guy’s eyelid. Without him being able to control it, he shivered in realization.

This guy is Im Jaebum. And this guy is definitely the same person as the ghost boy he saw. And instead of his curiosity being finally answered, Jackson was put in futher dilemma whether to faint from shock or running away from embarrassment of being caught red handed. His right foot was already shifting as a start of a run, but then there’s a frown growing on the guy’s face and in that split second Jackson had the will power to be curious enough of what the man is going to say.

“I’m sorry, do I know you? You seems very familiar,” the Im Jaebum guy said and stepping closer to where Jackson is standing rigidly.

Should he say he know him? Don’t they say people who’s waking up from a coma could have a fucked up memories? Could he use that as an excuse to spare him all the troubles? But before he could even move his mouth to further embarrass himself, the guy speak again.

“I’m sorry, it just that I’m still a bit confused and sometimes I forgot things. So, do I know you?”

Yes, I met your ghost a couple of weeks ago, Jackson wanted to answer, but was sane enough not to. So he settle with something like an awkward smile and shaking his head, “no, you don’t know me… I was just visiting my friend,” he pointed out the door with his thumb, praying in his heart that the slight tremble of his hand goes unnoticed.

“Oh, then I must be mistaken,” Im Jaebum said with an apologetic smile.

“Yeah…” Jackson weakly replied, nodding awkwardly before slowly inching away to hide in his friend’s room. Leaving the guy confused and alone in the empty hallways.

“Kill me now,” he said exasperated to his friend who’s looking at him as if he’s crazy.

“What dumb things did you do this time?”

“I was caught peeking by Im Jaebum himself! God, let me die, why did I do that?”

“Oh you finally met him? How is it? Is he really that ghost boy?” the look on his friend’s face immediately turned into amusement at the revelation.

“How should I know?” Jackson sighed and hides his face in bis hands, still very much embarrassed. “But he have the same moles the little boy have… Does that mean anything?”

“Did he know you?”

“Err… He said I looked familiar?”

He whistled in awe, “well, isn’t this such a great story? Congratulations friend, you really had seen a ghost and live the day to see the living version. Is he your type?”

“Would you mind? You think I had the time to ogle his face when I was so ashamed and shocked looking at him?”

“What, he’s that gorgeous?”

Jackson rolled his eyes impatiently, “why am I even talking to you?”

“Maybe this is fate, where else would you find a romantic story like this? Go for it.”

Jackson could only huffed although his mind racing at the thought of it. Well, that indeed sounds nice, but he probably won’t ever talk to the Im Jaebum guy again after this.

–

Just his luck when he got to hospital too early and he was not allowed in because it’s still not the time for visitors yet, so he sit in the waiting room, bored out of his mind. He didn’t realize he was humming in his brooding, not noticing anything and just too deep in him thoughts. But the deep voice, the voice which he only heard once yet carved deep into his mind, bringing him out of reverie in a snap.

“Jackson?”

He snapped his head too quickly his head got dizzy, but he could recognize the tall guy all the same even through it. Im Jaebum standing not far from where he’s sitting. And did he just called his name?

“Is that your name, Jackson?” the guy asked and making Jackson more confused and uneasy.

“How do you…?”

“When I heard you humming… That name just came to me, Jackson. Is that your name?”

Jackson was bewildered, the guy remembered his humming? Out of all the things he have, his humming voice was the thing he remembers? The look on Im Jaebum’s was so lost though, it seems he’s even more confused and anxious than Jackson is. But what could he possibly say? He have nothing to answer to it. If he say yes, then would come the question of who is he and how Im Jaebum could know his name.

But then Im Jaebum is always one step forward than him, sitting beside Jackson in one swift movement and eyes stern on Jackson. “Look, I’m sorry if I forgot about you, but the sleep… The coma seems to did things to my mind more than I thought. If I hurt you by forgetting you, please tell me, don’t act like you don’t know me. Are you my friend? Or…”

“No, no, no, you really don’t know about me. I’m not… Your friend,” Jackson quickly clarify.

And the frown on Im Jaebum’s face grow deeper, “but… Jackson is your name, right? And you seem very familiar to me…”

“Well, it’s true my name is Jackson but…” he trails off, confused how to answer. Should he just tell him? But what if he thought of him as someone insane after that?

“But…?”

Jackson sighed deeply, “we really don’t know each other.”

Disbelief clearly written on the guy’s face, eyes searching and sharp on Jackson, making him shifting uneasily on his seat. And to Jackson’s surprise the guy relented.

“I really feel like I know you though. But fine, if we really are strangers. Then we have to get to know each other.”

“Why?” Jackson staring wide eyed at the guy.

He shrugged, “I don’t know, but something tells me I know you. So, I have to know you.”

Jackson couldn’t help the snort and the chuckle that left his lips, “did you realize it sounds like a cheap pick up lines?”

Gone was the frown on Im Jaebum’s face and a bright smile forming, causing Jackson’s heart flutters a bit at the sight, “It could be.”

Subconsciously Jackson mirroring the smile, “okay.”

“So, I’m Im Jaebum, you?”

Are they really doing this, Jackson thought fondly with an even brighter smile, “I’m Wang Jackson.”

“Nice to know you Wang Jackson. Sooner or later I will know who you really are.”

And that marks the day they officially know the existence of each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silly fluff...


	4. Umbrella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t let the rain punish you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Athlete Jackson au.
> 
> This is a bit angsty and was written when I was hooked and inspired by Hyolin's Umbrella, it's a really nice song and somehow I perceive it a bit sad with blooming hope.
> 
> Because everyone have their own demons, and the brightest light have the darkest shadow.
> 
> But I hope precious Wang Jackson will always be happy, healthy and striving like he's so deserving :'))

It’s never easy, the road is always bumpy and his skin full of scars from all the stumbling. But the years it took makes his feet steady and firm, path decisive and although still twisted, he knew where it would lead him and he’s sure of it no matter how hard it is. He can almost see it right in front of him the goal he’s fighting for. Jackson know what is it that he want.

Even so, he’s still just a human and very much so. Sometimes he lost all the fight in his bone, when he wanted nothing more than just step back and curled up his body in the cold corner wishing for the world to go away. When he’s left alone to his destructive thoughts, heart darken and skeptical about life. And every cells of his whole being screaming, terrified and just shut down. And every words and support came from whoever would fell on deaf ears because he just couldn’t contain all the little forbidden feelings he had unconsciously nurture in the depths of his heart.

It was the same when he’s walking home, drenched from the light rain and hollow from the repeated failures yet again from his sport career. He had trained hard, shaping and taking care his body the best he could, hammering his stamina and practicing his agility. All the blood, sweat and tears just to find his footing, placing his root and taking in the happiness and proudness of what he could do and contribute to the world. Because he’s young, healthy and climbing to the peak of his prime, to show his value and make a name of himself.

But life is life, and he fall, and fall because he’s climbing and no matter how strong willed and careful he is, he would still come stumbling down. There is always someone better than him. There is always something that push him harder and harder to the ground. And as he bleed, he feels trapped and lost. He feels tired, for a moment thought, ‘I don’t want to do this again.’

The rain is unrelenting, harsh although caressing his skin softly as if pitying him, wetting his whole being and drowning his heart in sorrow, masking the unshed tears in the back of his eyes.

Yet the tiniest light managed to penetrate through the darkness latching at his heart at that moment. When the rain stopped falling on him, when he felt a ghost of warmth radiating from his side and a gentle voice reach out to him.

“Don’t let the rain punish you.”

For the first time that day Jackson raised his head, gathering the figure who’s standing beside him, recognizing the face which always been there. Always there in his every falls, always there in every way he’s been taking.

And he noticed the umbrella covering him, saving him from the mocking rain, from the judging noises it came from where it drops. And suddenly Jackson thought that the rain is kind of gentle, accompanying his pain rather than digging it deeper. And the sound of rain settles and soothing just like the soft smile on the guy’s face, tender and warm. Just there, accompanying, no judgement no pity.

“Let it washes over you, Jackson. But not to let yourself drown more. I’m always here.”

He couldn’t reciprocate the smile, but he found his heart is at ease. And he knows, the warmth which spreading in his chest speak louder than the rain.

And when another tournament come, another anxiety plaguing him and all the voices getting too loud to let him afloat. Jackson know where to look, to find clarity amidst the raging storm in his heart, to find answer in the dark brown eyes which never leaving him. Because he’s always been there.

And a smile grows on his lips from the calmness of his soul. Because even if he falls, even if he bleeds, even if rain and storm comes, Im Jaebum will always be there.


	5. You Think...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marriage au.
> 
> This one is so silly lol. I love this, ofc I love it I fucking wrote it.
> 
> (but man the grammar sucks asdfghjkl I'm sorry).

“You think I made a mistake?” Jackson asked while his foot bouncing in nervousness, slightly shaking the table where he’s having a lunch break.

“What mistake? The last dancing step?” Mark asked back between his munching.

“No, about Jaebum hyung…”

“What about him?”

“Me, marrying him?”

Mark stop munching, squaring at Jackson, “pretty late don’t you think? You married him for four years already.”

“No, I mean…” he run his hand through his hair, “I don’t know, I’m feeling uneasy lately.”

“Why? Because he barely make any time for you now? He’s probably busy with his work.”

“Well, yeah…”

“Something wrong?”

“You know… Our relationship is kind of unique right? He never say he loves me and we kinda just got married because we’re comfortable around each other and… We’re used to each other and it’s just felt natural to be together,” he blabbed, foot still bouncing.

“You love him though and it was him who asked you to get married right? So?”

“But don’t you think he did that because he just felt like it and doing it on a whim? I mean, he never tell me his feelings to me.”

Mark rolls his eyes, “how is it marriage is something on a whim? Beside, he shows it in the way he take care of you.”

Jackson bit his lower lip, thinking again, but the ill thoughts already nagging his mind for quite long now, he couldn’t hold it in. “Like, I know he loves me but not really that ‘love’? He marries me because of… I don’t know, we’re comfortable and familiarity?”

“What brought this on? You never have a problem before even though he never say the three words, you know it in the way he acts around you.”

“Well, that’s the problem. I never question it because I always thought he loves me back because I can feel it, he always dotes on me and maybe the way he’s protective over me makes me believe that even without words. But lately… Lately it seems like he don’t care anymore, like he’s so busy and rarely comes home when I’m still awake and even if we met, he would just kissed me then go out again… Like he’s being cold to me,” Jackson perfectly aware he’s ranting right now, but he can’t help it, his insecurity has been going on for too long.

“And this has been going on for how long?”

“About three months…?”

Mark’s eyes went slightly wide, “that’s long. But probably you’re over thinking it.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, anyone with eyes can see how whipped he is to you,” he start eating again, thinking that the topic is closed.

“Maybe before, but now… You think he found someone else? Someone… He really loves?” it left a bitter taste on Jackson’s tongue when he said it, heart aching at the thought.

Mark put down his spoon, contemplating what to say, but he don’t know what to say. So he just repeated, “you’re over thinking it.”

–

Jackson woken up to the sound of keys dangling, then a low thud coming from the other side of the bed. He turns to see Jaebum in the middle of changing clothes, he noted that the clock shows two in the morning.

“You just got home?”

Jaebum jumped in surprise, whipping around to face Jackson, “you’re still awake? It’s late.”

“I was sleeping…” he sit up on the bed, staring and waiting for Jaebum to say something more. “You’ve been very busy lately.”

“Ah, yeah… Got a lot to do,” Jaebum smiled and kissed Jackson lips for a brief moment, “go back to sleep, you have to wake up early tomorrow.”

“Can’t you cuddle with me? Just for a minute or something?” Jackson is almost begging when he saw Jaebum about to walk out from the bedroom.

There’s a small frown and a tight lipped smile on Jaebum’s face when he answered, “I wish I can Jackson, but I need to get things done, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you miss me?” he whispered and in the quietness of the room, Jaebum could hear it.

“Baby, of course I miss you, but I really need to do this…”

Jackson lowers his head, pained and disappointed, then he lay back on the bed after saying a soft ‘okay’.

Even after Jaebum kissed his cheek and hugs him for a while, saying sorry before finally leaving the room, Jackson still feeling hurt and lonely. And bad thoughts luls him to a restless sleep.

–

“You okay there, dude?” Yugyeom throwing a concerned glances to his two friends, noticing Youngjae also rubbing a gentle hand on Jackson’s forearm.

“I’m most certainly not okay,” Bambam sighed, stirring his ice caramel latte obsessively. “Yuri broke up with me.”

“What? Why? I thought you guys doing okay? I’ve seen you being gross together just last week,” Yugyeom straightening up on his seat, shocked.

“Well, suddenly she realized I’m not the one she’s in love with,” he shrugged as if he didn’t care, but the gloom in his eyes obviously saying otherwise.

Yugyeom was at lost on what to say, but before he manage to Jackson already commented, “same.”

The three men snapped their head to Jackson, for a split second expecting a smile or a following joke to cheer Bambam up, but it never came and his face stays gravely blank.

“What do you mean?” for a moment Bambam forget about his own problem seeing the hurt on his beloved hyung’s face.

Yugyeom noticed the way Youngjae shaking his head as if asking them not to ask about it, but the words already said and Jackson had decided he need to let it out.

“Last night I saw Jaebum hyung hiding a shirt with a lipstick stain on it,” Jackson said with a flat tone, but it’s so painful to hear because they knew Jackson never sounds like that. “So he’s really seeing someone else.”

“No, you don’t know that. Maybe something happened and he just don’t want to worry you,” Youngjae quickly soothe, but it barely do anything for Jackson.

“After all this time he’s being cold to me? I think that’s the only reason,” he chuckled, sounds empty and pained.

“Have you talk to him?” Yugyeom tries.

“I don’t dare to… What if he say that after all the time we’ve been together he realized he never really love me? And now he found someone else, he realizes it was never been a love? That he stays with me because we just happened to feel comfortable? I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

“You know it’s not like that, you know he loves you,” Bambam said slowly as if he’s talking to a child, placing a supporting hand on Jackson’s back.

“Does he, really? I’m not sure anymore. He never say anything, we dated because we kissed when we were drunk and just fell into a habit to being intimate. Then he asked to marry me when we were cuddling on the couch watching a soccer match… Wasn’t he just doing it on a whim?” Jackson sniffed, eyes glassy but he’s still strong enough to hold it in.

“Do you think he’s the type to not thinking things through?” Yugyeom asked although he already know the answer, but he need to remind Jackson.

He didn’t answer but the haunting thought still remains persistently, “then he woke up suddenly realizing he’s no longer in love with me. That’s why he’s been distancing himself from me and just waiting for the time to say it.”

All of them fell silent, unsure what to say since it seems Jackson already deaf to reasoning.

“You need to talk with him,” Yungjae said after a long moment of heavy silence.

–

Jackson is afraid, too scared to talk so he did what he thought the best, avoiding Jaebum. And with the older barely at home when he’s awake, it’s an easy thing to do. Even when they live in the same house, it feels like they’re a stranger with a too different lives and world. Even with occasional kisses and hugs, it’s hard for Jackson to think otherwise, and they haven’t make love for a long time, nothing can placate Jackson anymore.

“You talk to him tonight, he’s going to be home early,” Jinyoung said sternly over the phone, accompanying Jackson who’s sitting alone in the living room. It was a home for two, but it hadn’t feel like it for the last few months.

“How do you know that?” he sighed, tired of everything, tired of assuming and he just want to stop thinking.

“I just know, now I have to go. You both need to talk, tonight. Don’t run away Jackson,” he finalized before hanging up.

Jackson sighed deeply, feeling his chest tight and limbs agitated in stress. But he relented, it’s better to finish it fast rather than hurting himself everyday with bad thoughts. He’s counting numbers to settle his thoughts, to relax his body to prepare for the upcoming doom.

About two hours later Jackson hears the sound of the front door opening. Before all of this happened, usually he would greet Jaebum in glee, jumping to hug him and just soaking in their warmth to release the longing of being apart for a day. But this time he remained seated on the couch, eyes straight to the turned off TV. Waiting, waiting and praying in his heart.

“Jackson?” Jaebum walked in to the living room, glancing at the TV then back to Jackson, “you’re not turning it on?”

“No, we need to talk,” he swallowed thickly, his throat feels like it’s closing from the sheer amount of stress and acid going up from his stomach for being so terrified, the urge to run away being so strong. But then Jinyoung words echoes in his mind, 'don’t run away’. You can do this Jackson.

Jaebum visibly tensing at the look on Jackson’s face, slowly inching to the couch and sit beside him, “okay. What is it? Something’s wrong?”

A lot of things is wrong, Jackson wanted to say but didn’t. “Do you have something you want to say to me?”

The older man sucked in a deep breath, “did Jinyoung tell you?”

Jinyoung? Suddenly Jackson feels his brain freeze, did Jinyoung know something? And he didn’t tell him? Anger starting to settle in his gut.

“I’ve been thinking of telling you this week, but… I was not ready yet,” Jaebum sighed but then a small smile forming on his lips.

How dare he smile like that, Jackson clenching his fist on his pants, heart aching too much at the sight but he refuses to let it show. “Should we fill in the divorce paper now?”

Jaebum’s smile fell immediately, his eyes growing so wide from shock and his mouth gaping without sound until he managed to squeak out, “what?”

“I know you’re seeing someone else now… It’s okay, I understand.”

“Understand?” hurt flashing through Jaebum’s face but the utter shock caused him unable to form words properly, “how, what- why- How could you think like that?”

Jackson shrugged, guards still up, “I saw you hiding a shirt with lipstick on it and the way you behave lately…”

“Shirt?” his eyes fleeting to the right, thinking, “that shirt? I wasn’t hiding it! I wanted to get the stain off since it’s my favorite shirt! It was a drunk stranger who bumped onto me when I was on my way home! I swear!”

“Then how about you being cold to me! You don’t even want to cuddle with me, you just… You don’t care,” Jackson could feel the sting in his eyes, oh no don’t, not now he have to be strong.

“It’s not that I don’t want to! I was tired, I barely sleep but I need to do my work. If I cuddle with you I’m sure I’m going to fall asleep, if so my work won’t be done. Jackson, I swear to god, I didn’t mean it to seems like that…” he pleads because he’s also scared seeing the look on Jackson’s face.

“You being so distant to me… You kept to yourself and being so secretive around me, why is that if there isn’t someone else?” he sniffed, still holding his ground.

“That is- I…”

Jackson scoffed, “now you have nothing to say?”

“I… Argh!” he ruffled his hair frustatedly, “wait here, I’ll tell you.” he went to his study and came back after a while with a lot of files and papers in his hands. “This is why.”

Jackson inspect it tentatively, looking at every words and photos about a house, a nice house which fit perfectly for a small family with kids or pets. Jackson choked from the surging shock and cry, but he swallows it all down, “you were searching for a house to move in with them?”

“Them? Jackson, how little do you trust me? It’s for us!” Jaebum almost yelled in frustration but also hurt. “Remember back then when we haven’t married yet? You used to tell me you wanted a house where you could raise a pair of dogs and I want a cat? Then you said you want a daughter? I’ve been preparing it and saving money for it, it took me a lot of work to do so and I still have to sort out all the papers and search for the perfect house. That’s what I’ve been doing, I wanted to surprise you. Do you remember a few days later is your birthday?”

Jackson couldn’t hold the sob that slipped off his mouth, “are you for real?”

“Yes! And here I am being accused for infidelity, I’m very hurt you know. You don’t trust me at all,” Jaebum huffed and turning his head not wanting to look at Jackson.

But then punches lands on his arm, “ouch! Ow! What the- Why are you hitting me?!”

“You jerk, you bastard, you shit head, you- you-! I hate you! You make me worried for nothing!” Jackson shouts while keep hitting Jaebum. “How can I not? You never say you love me and suddenly you’re just- you felt so far away and I got so, so scared. You fucker!”

“Really? I- ouch, never say it? I thought- ow! Aw! Hey, stop that- stop hitting me!” he caught Jackson’s wrist and hug him tightly to keep him in his place. “Are you trying to chop off my arm?” he sighed before looking solemnly in Jackson’s glassy eyes. “I’m sorry that I made you insecure… I really am and no excuse for that. But you know me, I’m not good with words and I thought you understand…”

“I did, I trusted you before all this, before I start thinking that maybe I was wrong and you don’t love me,” he squeaked causing Jaebum to laugh a little.

“I’m hurt that you doubt me, but I guess it’s also my fault that I got too hung up at making you happy I forgot the important thing. I’m sorry, I love you Jackson, I asked for your hand in marriage, you remember?”

“I don’t believe you,” he pouted but a ghost of a smile is there, Jaebum kissed it away, deeply and sincerely, pouring all his love into the kiss before he pulls away and smiled.

“Then what should I do?”

Jackson bite his lower lips to force himself not to smile, he shouldn’t let Jaebum off the hook yet, “buy me that house and tell me everyday that you love me.”

Jaebum chuckled before kissing him again and whispered to his lips, “deal.”


	6. The Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is angsty af, because what am I if it's not angsty.

There was another thundering sounds around them, shaking the ground, pelting stones after stones in a nonstop rain of dust and burning iron. Again and again then Jaebum woke up into consciousness in a harsh jolt, feeling his lungs burning and filled with dirt, his skin thick of ashes and smoke, hairs matted in mud, sweat and blood.

This is hell, a never ending nightmare and despite he wants to die along like the dying earth, he took another deep breath and look to his right on his lay at the hard asphalt road. The world that he knows crumbling down, the air is so thick, so hot he could barely see anything. But he was there, just a few inches more than his outreached hand, Jackson was there lying unconscious on the same hard asphalt road.

Jaebum cries louder every seconds and it wasn’t the unbearable pain of his crushed legs under a huge block of crumbling walls, because his end is nearing, he could feel it racking his bones and all he wanted was to hold Jackson in his arms one last time. For one last time to kiss his love, to hold their hearts close together and spend the last of their seconds in their own illusion of paradise despite the impending doom.

He cries over and over, calling, “Jackson! Please, please Jackson!” with the best he can do because his lungs are damaged and so is his vocal chords due to the burning smoke. He calls again but it always fell on deaf ears or maybe the thundering and the screams around them was too loud it drowns his voice. And he stops, because maybe, it’s best for Jackson not to wake up, to close his eyes from this horror, to stay asleep so no pain can get to him.

Yet Jaebum cries harder because his last wish wouldn’t be fulfilled, he’ll die alone when Jackson is only a few inches away and these distance which separates them is so cruel. But he resigned himself when another loud thundering sound heard and his head was hit with a chunk of stone. At least he could see Jackson’s beautiful face for the last time, although his face was marred with blood and blackening smoke, he is still beautiful and strong for Jaebum.

He tries his best to keep his eyes open so the image he see is that of Jackson, his love. But the burning air burns his eyes more than it burned his lungs and skin. Darkness claimed him first before it claims his last breath and heartbeat.

Darkness overwhelm all that is his and the last word he kept chanting was, “Jackson.” Because beyond the darkness he sees smiling Jackson peering down on him with warmth in his eyes and the sun was gentle on them. And he drown in it, it was much more merciful than the real world. A touch to his cheek and-

“Hyung?”

Jaebum woke up with a start, eyes wide and hands clutching tightly to his blanket. His head instinctively turned to his left where he heard the voice calling him, Jackson. There was Jackson with half sleepy, half worried face looking at him, the weight of his warm hand on Jaebum chest eases his thumping heart.

“Hyung are you having a bad dream?”

Bad dream, what a nice word, what a nice thought. That wasn’t just a bad dream, it never was. Jaebum took Jackson’s hand in his trembling hands, bringing it close to his lips and kisses it over and over again. Jackson is here, he is here with him in bed, he is warm and alive. He didn’t lose him. A sob racked Jaebum’s chest and he curled up as Jackson took him into a tight embrace. Only then he realized he was soaked in sweat, damp even to the bed under him.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s just a dream,” Jackson said repeatedly, softly as he keep stroking Jaebum’s back to calm him down. But they both know that is a lie. It wasn’t just a dream and Jackson was shuddering against Jaebum in realization.

After a while when they both feel calmer and Jaebum’s breathing settled, Jackson whispering to his ear in hope, in fear and wishful, “can we do something to change it?”

And Jaebum closes his eyes, wishing for the image of smiling Jackson to come behind his eyelids, in the darkness, in the warmth which is real and wrapping around him protectively. If only they could stay like this forever in each other arms, if only they are oblivious of what was coming, if only his wish for his last breath would be fulfilled and he could answer Jackson in another way.

But… “No, there’s no other way.”

 


	7. You and I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I freaking love this one ♥

 

Jackson remember his happy time playing with other kids, the laughter, the running together and climbing up trees like any boys would. He has a lot of friends girls and boys alike. He remembers his parents dote on him like they dote on his brother. Only for it all taken away when the unexpected happened.

He was feeling upset because a kid keeping a secret from him, his little mind thought he was being singled out, only to find out they was trying to surprise him with his tenth birthday. He was so upset that suddenly his skin turned hot and fire lapping out to his surroundings, burning the grass underneath his little feet.

He can’t stop, he can’t control it and as he cries harder, the hotter the fire burns. He remembers the pain when water dumped on him, killing the fire but also hurting his body with it. After that people scared of him, looking at him like he’s an abomination and he was left with no friends.

No questions answered. Nobody knows why something like that could happen. But one time people could forget and forgive, thinking that maybe there was fire from the heat of the sun and he was caught in it. Although if it was so, how could Jackson’s skin wasn’t burnt at all? But they think, maybe it was just a mistake and their minds playing trick on them.

But when it happened again for the second, third times, it’s undeniable the fire is coming from Jackson himself. Then as if Jackson did it deliberately, people hold him in contempt and fear, avoiding the kid like he’s cursed and ought to be shunned.

Jackson remember losing his happy childhood due to the mystical fire within him. His parents loves him still, but he remembers the ever stirring fear inside their eyes whenever he was feeling upset. If his own parents scared of him, than how could anyone else accept him being a mutant like that?

He grows up in quiet, talking less, smiling less and most of all he tries not to feel upset to contain the uncontrollable fire. He remembers going into middle school without a single friend. But it’s okay, he thinks, he still have his brother who like him the way he is. Beside he’s not the only boy without friends in middle school.

There’s Jaebum, a senior who always look alone and cold, stiff and unapproachable. And Jackson feel a bit better knowing he’s not the only one alone without friends.

But the thing about feelings is they work in a way you can’t control. It was a simple thing, an old teacher whom Jackson adore is retiring and he feels upset, because she was always so kind to him and treated him like he’s a normal boy, like he’s not a kid who will combust anytime he’s ticked with something. He was so upset feeling he had lost his place again he couldn’t control the dark emotions to rouse and burn on his skin. Unfortunately it has to happen when he was at school, where everybody can see him burning in enraged fire.

Ah, he thought, they will hate me even more. He had given up, letting the fire burn larger and hotter as he cries in his pitiful solitude. That is until a hand grabbed on his shoulder, half hugging his burning body. He look up in shock, it’s been so long since anyone is dare enough to touch him and he saw Jaebum looking back at him with a deep frown.

“How about you ceasing down this fire of yours, huh?”

Jackson is speechless, this guy really touching him while he’s burning! “you’ll hurt yourself!”

“Really?” Jaebum smiled ignoring the sweat rolling down his skin due to the unbearable heat. But he didn’t burn like everything around Jackson, and he keep his arms tight around the smaller body of Jackson.

“H-how?” Jackson is baffled noticing his fire fading into nothing than hot and steamy air.

The guy smirked, “it’s gonna take more than that to burn me.”

And he shows Jackson a flower of ice on his palm, reflecting a lot of colors and so beautiful. He was another abnormality like Jackson, the shunned and the cursed. But he holds power over ice, opposite to Jackson.

Years later Jackson still remember a lot of the unhappy memories in his childhood. But he thinks, he didn’t regret it if it means he got Jaebum now. As the intertwine their hands together, they feel like normal people and Jackson always found his heart fluttering as he saw the love in Jaebum’s eyes.

People may still fear them, but they have each other and it makes them stronger. So, to hell with those people, they are happy now.


	8. Look

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just look at me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because how can I not make their comeback song into a fic? Look, I don't want to be that shipper but that song totally JackBum song! Yeah, I said it lololol

It's raining again, Jackson thinks as he exhales slowly, closing his eyes to feel the soft breathing fanning his bare shoulder. He took the hand which was circling his waist, intertwining their fingers and kissed it, pouring the sudden blooming emotions in his chest. There's a shift behind him, a soft kiss to his nape.

Jackson only hummed in content, pressing more to the equally bare chest on his back as the arm around him pulling him into a warm embrace. The breathing moves to the back of his ear, kissing it languidly as sleep still drapped on them just like the warm blanket covering their lower bodies.

"What are you thinking?" his lover asked in a whisper, slightly rough from sleep.

"That we will have to separate again after this," Jackson muttered slowly, trying not to let the tone of sadness be heard, but Jaebum is always good at reading him. So there's a another warm hand sneaking beneath his neck then catch his head to an affectionate hug, and the hand which connects to Jackson's own pulls him tighter on his chest.

"We may never be able to uncover us, but you know my heart and I know yours, is that not enough?" Jaebum says, a hint of unease felt but his arms strong and warm around Jackson.

"I hate that I can't even get too close to you."

"We talked about this."

"I always miss you, I want you here, with me, like this not just behind closed doors," his voice wavered a little, a mix of sadness, want and anger.

There's silence, a long kiss on Jackson's shoulder before Jaebum says, "is this the part you gonna say that we better go back being friends again?"

"I don't-"

"We did that already Jackson, God knows how much that hurts me, you, us. I know it's not my place to be angry because I won't listen to your affection when people can see us, but I know I want this, I need you with me like this, even though we can only do it in secret," the disappointment heard clearly this time in his voice tinted with anger. "Do you know how much it hurts me to see you in pain and seek others, like Jinyoung, when I can't even comfort you because what we have is too heavy to erase?"

"You hate me for it," Jackson whispers lowly, almost inaudible yet Jaebum could hear it so clearly.

"Took you long enough until you heard my mix tape to understand that," he scoffed, a mock of sarcasm to hide his pain. "I hate it when you busy yourself to the bone and vomit blood just to forget and let your mind be occupied. If you can forget us in a way that would not hurt you, Jackson I promise I'll let you go and put it behind us, no matter how much it's hurting me. But you can't, I can't, then why even try to do that? Can't we just be thankful for the little times we can be ourselves than to force us to forget to the point of being self destructive?"

"I can't because I know you're hurting, I can't because I know you blame yourself for us and I don't want that, and I can't... I don't want you to hate me."

Jaebum slowly let Jackson go and turn him around so they're facing each other, eyes searching in the most gentle way, "I love you Jackson, if it was just a little attraction, I wouldn't even dare to bring us this far. Flirting with you was easy, because we can do it when we're just friends, but honestly I wouldn't want it be ' _us_ ' if it wasn't that strong enough to put our careers, our group's sake in risk. Can't you see how much this heart of mine bleed for you?"

Jackson had the gals to chuckle when they're having serious conversation, "you're always such a sap, bleed for me?"

"I'm serious," Jaebum said in firm tone although there's a soft smile on his lips. Then he leans in to kiss Jackson on the cheek, full of adoration as they hug each other closer and both sighed deeply. "I hate it when you ignored me, when you won't talk to me or even look to me. I was angry because, am I really that small in your heart? So much that you can't even treat me as a friend anymore?"

Jackson placed both his palms on Jaebum's nape, kissing his pointy nose and rubs their foreheads together, "I can't look to you because I can see the love in your eyes and know that we're just friends, it's too painful and maybe I'm a little bit angry that you agreed to my selfishness for us to go back to being friends after all what happened with us."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Jaebum breathed, their breath mingles like a bitter taste of pain and longing between them. "I keep you with me, but you can't handle me not wanting to be too close with you in front of camera. I don't want us to be just all about pain and I thought if you feel happier with us being friends then why not? But you can't handle that either, so what am I supposed to do? I love you too much I'll do whatever you want, Jackson, so long as you don't hurt yourself... Or ignoring me. I can handle to have you as a friend in my life, but not without you at all."

Jackson chuckled again, tangling his fingers to Jaebum's hair tenderly then pull him into a kiss, shallow yet full of feelings, the press of their body warmth bring a sense of peace and ease to both their pained souls. So much pain just from loving each other.

"I love you too, you're such a romantic my toes are curling," he giggles then kiss Jaebum again and this time a bit deeper accompanied with melodious hums, hands caressing the soft skin and legs tangling gently together. "Let's just be together..." Jackson whispered to Jaebum's wet lips, "just be together, no more over thinking."

"And look at me, no more ignoring me," Jaebum replied, eyes glistening with love and determination, "if you ever feel doubt, because I'm too guarded to let loose with you when people can see us, just look at me, you know you can see the love in my eyes. It's selfish, but that's the best I can give you right now, but I promise I'll love you a hundred times more when we're alone."

"I know..." Jackson inhales then smiles, "I know, I'm sorry I got too greedy. I know you can't help it, this is you, this is what the society done to you and honestly I'm angry because of that, like can't you trust me and let you be yourself? But I know, the world is unmerciful and I just got greedy and I don't think about your feelings, I'm sorry."

This time it's Jaebum's turn to chuckle, "please just promise me to talk it over with me without hiding your pain, we have this together so please share the burden together and I'll do the same too. Don't hide it and decidedly withstand the pain because it won't just be you but also me, we'll be both hurting."

"Okay," Jackson tuck his face to Jaebum's neck, "okay I'll try... Not to be too affectionate with you in front of camera or when people can see us."

Jaebum ruffles his hair until Jackson whined, "you tease, as much as I hate to say it, I actually love it when you tease me. Just be ready I'll get back at you when I can."

"Whipped," Jackson snorted.

"I wonder why I fell in love with you," Jaebum sighed tiredly.

"Because I'm loveable, everybody loves me and even the chic and sexy JB can't resist me."

"Well shit." They both laughed light heartedly. There will be more happiness as it is with pain and disappointment. But at least now they know better what to do when it will happen again. Just be ourselves even if only in the little hidden times.

"I love you," Jackson whispered as he kissed Jaebum's chin.

"Just look at me, I love you too," Jaebum reciprocate with a kiss to Jackson's forehead, "it's hard, but just look at me."

And they let themselves be drown in the warmth and love they have in their limited time, the sound of rain outside their window left a taste of bittersweet to their souls.

Just look at me and you'll know.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you hear me screaming?? Because JackBum interacting again and then bom! This song came out, like?? 
> 
> I'm sobbing blood of happiness lololol.


End file.
